Hello, my name is Emily, and I have a problem. What that problem is, I don't know. I don't think anyone knows what their problems are. Sure, you may be a raging alcoholic, but hey, you probably think your biggest issue is that you just can't kick that habit of leaving your socks in the living room. Or maybe, leaving the toilet seat up. That's definitely it! Wait. I think I got off track there. Anyways, I grew up in a town that pretends to be a small town, acts like a small town, but drives like it's either New Mexico, or the middle of Clearwater when it's snowing, because global warming, I mean climate change? (No, I didn't live in Clearwater.) This has left me sheltered from the outside world. I recently entered this hellhole, and honestly I'll never go back. I'm slowly coming out of my figurative shell, even though I can barely string a sentence together. "Hey Emily, what's up?" "uh...WHATS IT TO YOU?" I'm kidding, I try to be insanely polite to anyone I meet. It puts me in some insanely awkward situations, because I end up being too afraid to say no. Oh, you need someone to make a full, professionally done website with state of the art visuals, utilizing features that were released last week? By the end of the week? Hey, I'm Mister Meeseeks look at me! Oooooooo yeaah, caaaaan do!
I think my problem may be that I suck at writing bios. Speaking of BIOS, do you know how easy it is to mistake CPUID for cupid? Maybe it's just because of Valentines day coming up, which as I write this, it's a little less than a month away. That may not seem soon, but according to any large chain store, it was definitely last week, and I missed out on all of the fun. Wait, wasn't I supposed to be talking about myself? Well, uh... Oops?